So on the Sunday I was to sing the song, I had lost my voice. I had a lump and crap in it and just couldn't sing. I warmed up singing the hymns, and then it was my turn.
The emotions of the day finally hit me. I was tired, stressed, missing my friend... and this song is powerful.
I got through the first few lines before I started to cry. I let the missionary that was accompanying me continue to play. I came in again at the chorus, but was only able to get a few words out before beginning to cry again.
This song is very personal. "For Me Alone" is a song for those of us that have struggled and wondered if it was all worth it. It speaks of Jesus up on the cross for ME. Not for anyone else.
The song ended and I smiled, grabbed my music and started to walk out to the hallway. My husband followed me out and we stood in the kitchen while I cried. I had so many emotions in me that I hadn't let out. Greif and pain and sadness all was there. I have had a harder life then I will ever let on or tell anyone. My fmaily knows a small part of it, and my husband knows what he needs to know. I don't regret the life I've had, I just regret not having that support system sooner.
It's been amazing becoming part of a group of strong women who are here to help me and be there for me while we get through this next chapter of life.
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