NOT me.

Life is a circle, I understand that part. I don't agree and like this circle, but it happens.

Example: When I was my sister's age I was in her same spot. Desperate to be loved, clinging to every guy that paid attention and doing whatever crazy idea they had (though mine didn't involve moving to Africa, just back to Kennewick). I can't voice my opinion outloud about this to her, because I'm supposed to be supportive and loving and not scared at all for her future.

This has been hard though. I KNOW this isn't the man my sister is supposed to marry, but that's what she is saying is going to happen- in Africa! I can't play the "you can't know right away who you are supposed to marry" because that happened with me and my husband. I KNEW the day I met him I wanted to be with him. Life has been up and down since then (mostly me up and down), but I have had that one support and I love it.

My dad was offered a job in CA working with the same company, but as a contractor. One of the first questions to my mom was, "When do you move.?" Well, she isn't moving! Just my dad will stay down there a few weeks out of the month and then travel back and forth. This is ideal for my mom. They have always had one of those together but not together marriages. I don't remember the last time they were ever affectionate with each other. I don't remember them saying "I love you" to each other. I recently learned from my dad that they only got married because it was convenient. Which explains a lot. I understand individuality in a marriage, but this is different. It's been bugging me and I had to say something about it.

This marriage is what my sister, the one going to Africa, wants. She wants the convenience of a husband but be able to be her own person. That doesn't work. I know that you don't have to be with your spouse 24/7, but you also can't be dependant on them. Does that make sense?

I like what I have. A balance. If I need a night just for me, I get it. This would have NEVER happened in my last marriage, but works for us. This Saturday I have errands to run and know that my husband doesn't want to go with me to the fabric store. So, I will send him off with some guy friends and I will go do my thing. My ex would have wanted to be next to me 24/7 for EVERYTHING. I wasn't able to be me and so I sank into depression and exploded and left.

I don't see this happening with my sister.*sigh*

Joys of being the big sister....

Next Chapter...

On Saturday we FINALLY move. I know that it seems we move all of the time, but like I stated before- this one is a needed! We went to our new church group on Sunday and were welcomed so openly! We even have someone coming to bring us dinner Saturday night after we are settled in! That has NEVER happened before. People were sincerely wanting to get to know us and more about us. It was so lving and sincere!

We put down the neede money and just have to sign one more paper and we are in! We have so many friends volunteering to come help us! It is wonderful to know that in our time of need, there really are people out there to come and help. HUGE kudos to those helping us move out! Our place now is up on the 3rd floor and the new place is ground level. Thank goodness we don't own a lot and most of the boxes used to pack are pretty small and therefore pretty light.

We are pretty sure this is our last move to an apartment. Our goal is to enjoy this place and save, save, save for a HOUSE. Here it goes!

Facebook IS NOT REAL LIFE!

For those that don't know already, not everyone on Facebook takes it seriously.

I will never, ever say and post what I am feeling 24 hours a day. This does have it's reprocussions, but I'm ok with that. Example: I am not a negative person, or at least I try not to be. My sister-in-law is and all, if not most, of her posts on Facebook reflect this. I decided that I had enough of the negative and "unfriended" her. HOLY HECK! I knew that there was going to be cross fire from this, so I also blocked her. This started a whirlwind of conversations and texts with my husband and his other sister. Bottom line, she is mad, her daughter is mad, husband was "unfriended" from her. Seriously?

I remove people from my friend list on Facebook at least once a week. It doesn't mean I'm not wanting to be a part of your life, I have just moved on in my life. I'm also VERY picky on whom I chose to see my personal information. I have personal information, personal photos and more.

So here I am blogging my sighs and grumbles.

Time for a happy blog post....

Organized Mess.

We have 20 days until we move into our more permanent place. I'm using that as my newest excuse to not clean as much as I normally would, but it's starting to show.

I strongly believe that a person's home is a reflection of what is going on inside. Example: clean home, clean mind, messy home, messy mind.

I must have a messy mind because my home that is normally neat and tidy is a mess.


Enough venting. Off to church.

7 Years of Waiting... worth it!

I just got the BEST news!

Just over seven years ago, on April 26, 2005, I decided I was done with my horrible marriage and moved out and got a divorce. Part of that divorce we agreeing to leave my ex and daughter alone and live my own life. Well, that lasted all of a few months before I got my head out of the clouds.

Here we are seven looong years and the moment I have been waiting for has FINALLY come- I was invited to come to their house for a visit!! This may not seem like a big deal to most, but this is an amazing leap in our chain of events since the divorce. A big part of it is thanks to his new wife- a saint! She has been an amazing addition to this chaos and is proving to the ex that I really mean the best for the kid and am not going to come over and steal her (I attempted to get out of our marriage once and I took my daughter to get out of the emotional abuse... I ended up flying back that next day). That instance was when my daughter was 18 months old and on Monday, she will be turning 10!

I just had to share my excitement. Usually when I come to visit, we meet up at the mall, hang out, go shopping and then part ways. The last time I saw her was back in November with my sister in town. We had lunch and then went to a park and the step-mom took some photos of us. So, that's what we will be doing on Saturday! I can't believe my little ladybug is turning 10!!!


Time for another... (wink)