In Shock.

It's been just over 24 hours since I left off to Kennewick, WA to see my daughter and do some back to school shopping for her. I made the 3 hour drive and was looking forward to grabbing just a few things (including a backpack) and then getting some time to take some pictures of us.

But I am learning, that when I plan something it NEVER works out the way I thought it would or the way I wanted it to. I will say up front that this blog today is me venting out my frustration with the day's adventures. If you get offended, I did warn you.

I got to Target around 10:45, after being asked to come before 11:30 so we would have time to shop. Kira and the crew (her dad, step-mom and 3 younger half siblings ages 4 years, 17 months and 3 months) showed up around 11:30 and we got started. What I should have done was let them know my limit money wise and set up a clothing item maximum (3 shirts, 2 pants) like my mom used to do. We all went wandering around the girls' department looking for shirts that Kira likes. Keep in mind, Kira will now go to a private school where uniforms are required and I have already bought 7 polos and 6 pairs of khaki pants for this. We walked out of Target with another polo, matching skirt, 3 shirts, 2 pairs of leggings and another skirt. When the total came up I was literally shaking! I won't mention the total, but I was in shock. I personally never shop retail. I did splurge and buy a shirt myself at Target, but that was the first time since my birthday in April (and I used a gift card I was given then).

And, since we didn't find a backpack at Target, it was onto Fred Meyer for more searching. Again, off to more shopping. I was still in shock when I got to the store and trying to just breathe deep. She found a backpack and I thought to myself, "Ok... now we can go!" But no, her step-mom wanted to go grab some more stuff. I REALLY should have said something, but didn't. Lesson has been clearly learned. We walked out of that store with a pair of shoes (to wear with her new skirts and leggings), a dress, 2 shirts and some more leggings. Just even thinking about it makes me disappointed and anxious. I have never spent so much money on clothes in one day!!

Keep in mind, I did hint the entire time, "This is way past my $100 budget I had for clothes and school supplies." But it didn't seem to phase her step-mom. All she said was, "I usually budget $250-300 per child for back to school." Does she not realize that I do not have that much extra around? We are still getting on our feet right now! Luckily, we kind of had the money extra to afford the spending yesterday, but it means now we have nothing to save from these paychecks.

I know that I should be happy that Kira is happy, but all I can think about is the "coulda, shoulda, woulda" of things. What I should have said, what I could've stopped... ugh. Oh well. I guess Christmas will be cheap for her and me. I'm glad we didn't do the mall!! Though, I'm sure SEARS and JCPenney's has some better deals going on... Ben made a good point to just bring cash and when the cash is gone, we are done! Man, I have me a smart husband!

Lesson of the day: When you are uncomfortable in a situation, stand up for yourself and make it known you are uncomfortable no matter the consequence. Don't let excuses cloud your thoughts.