Oh, Christmas Tree...

This is one of those Christmases that just doesn't feel like Christmas. Ben and I were sitting in the car on our way to grab a few groceries (if we didn't run out of tp I would NOT have gone) when we were talking and agreed that this just doesn't feel like Christmas. It feels like we are just going through the motions. The decorations are up, the presents have been unwrapped and the stockings were kind of filled. I think the biggest factor (besides no snow or cold weather) was not having friends or family to really spend the holidays with.

Ben and I worked a lot the last month and were able to buy a few gifts for each other. Biggest gift was the Wii that was given by my employers that just didn't use it anymore. We've decided that with it, we'll get rid of our cable and spend time on the Wii instead. Plus, it will save us $45 a month!! We were able to sell our Yakima rail system on craigslist and used the money from that for Christmas gifts for each other. I got what I wanted, Ben got what he needed. It's been a very humble Christmas. The tree above is one that I made because we couldn't afford to get a real tree like we had planned. Actually, we had a friend that was going to give us a tree, but we couldn't afford the tree stand! How ironic is that?

Needless to say, I will be packing up the decorations tomorrow. I feel no more need to have them up now that presents have been opened. Ben is working all day Christmas Day, and I will stop by my employers' home to give them their gifts.

Here's a picture of our fancy decorations that are up in our apartment:






Hope that your Christmas is a little more Merry than ours. Here's to a new year with new hopes and expectations!

Yup, It's Blue!

Here's our new car! Our other car finally gave out and so we upgraded! Went from a 2005 to a 2010. It's the newest car we've owned! Can't wait to take trips now (and not worry that the car will fall apart). We love that it's blue... mostly because we are HUGE Denver Broncos fans (good ole orange and blue)!

Caching.

On Thursday, Ben and I went out geocaching off Marine Drive in North Portland (along the Columbia River). What a fun time!! Thought I would share just a few photos from the day.

Top photo is of some of the grass along the trail we were on.
Bottom two are photos from a park in SE Portland/Milwaukie area. I was so amazed to see leaves still falling off the tree! It's almost the middle of December! I love it!

"Children's Praise"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmiJtya1-mk

I just watched the season finale of "Sister Wives" and the above song was playing the background. What an amazingly powerful song for this time in my life.

With the decision of being on birth control and stopping all "trying" at having more children, watching the finale of the show when one of the wives gives birth to her own child and then offering to be the surrogate to a wife that can't get pregnant just made me loose it.

I know that with my sisters, I would be more than willing to be a surrogate to their children if it ever came to the point where they were not able to carry the child themselves. I have been through the agony of not being able to carry my own child, and it hurts. But if I would be chosen to be the vessel for a family member or friend, I would consider it an honor.

Lyrics for the song:

Songs of praise we sing, to our Savior King, who has said "Let little children come."
For of such said He, "Shall My kingdom be, kingdom of the ransom gathered whole."
We will sweetly sing, of our Savior King, till the echoes reach the vaulted skies.
To the Lord above, Prince of Peace and Love, shall our sweetest songs of praise arise.
Though so young and small, Jesus loves us all, and His smiling face for all we see.
Gently day by day, still He leads the way, blessed Jesus we will follow thee.
We will sweetly sing, of our Savior King, till the echoes reach the vaulted skies.
To the Lord above, Prince of Peace and Love, shall our sweetest songs of praise arise.
We will sweetly sing, of our Savior King, till the echoes reach the vaulted skies.
To the Lord above, Prince of Peace and Love, shall our sweetest songs of praise arise.

Decisions Made

On Tuesday I made a pretty big decision that will hopefully turn out to be a good thing overall.

Over the last year I have become more and more depressed because of my infertility. I talked about this with my husband many times and came to the realization that emotionally and financially we really are not ready to become parents right now. So, I made an appointment with my OB/GYN and discussed birth control options. The Dr. was surprised that at 31 I was being put on birth control for the first time in years. I wasn't brought up talking about it, and I have never really had close girlfriends that I could talk to about my options. I felt silly asking the doctor about my options and what different pills do.

Another thing that was discussed was the fact that my periods are very irregular. I have a family history of thyroid disease and diabetes, so we discussed that as well as the possibility of polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). I haven't done a lot of research on it yet, and probably won't until I am confirmed to have it.

It seems lately that every time I go to the Doctor, they are finding something new wrong with me! A few weeks ago they were checking a lump in my breast, now they are checking for PCOS! Sheesh!