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Tomorrow is my daughter's first day of school- 4th grade!! New school, new friends, new year! I can't believe how grown up she is getting too! I can have somewhat adult conversations with her and am just so proud of her!
I will post pictures once I get them from her step-mom!
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Pictures from school shopping and first day:
Kira and I after school clothes shopping. Look how tall she is getting!!
First day of school!
This all started because I was bored and wanted free food.
August 29, 2008 there was a bar-b-que for the end of the summer for my church group (people ages 18-30). It was a big deal being put on in north Denver (about 45 minutes from where I was living). I went in the hopes that people from my old group would be there since I hadn't seen them since I had moved a few months earlier. I got there and soon realized that I didn't know too many people. So, I grabbed some food and sat on a bench to eat and then leave. Right after I sat down, a cute guy walked up and was just standing there eating. Somehow, the conversation got on about being the only one there divorced with a kid. Little did I know that single comment would land the man of my dreams!
We ended up hanging out and talking in his car long after everyone had left. Actually, the only reason we stopped talking was because around midnight cops showed up knocking on the window wondering what we were up to.
There was instant chemistry! We went on an informal "date" the next day with me and the kids I nannied at the time. Got a chance to talk and see if it could go anywhere. We both knew right away there was that spark, attraction, that thing that everyone is looking for. We covered the main "what are you looking for" topics the night before.
So here we are three years later. Still in love, still having an amazing time just talking in the car! We've conquered some struggles and risen up pretty high. We are each others best friend. I am so lucky to have taken that chance to go to that bbq. I met my husband!
Wow. For the first time in 3 years I have a pretty messy house- messy by my standards. After I am done with the girls, I just want to come home and veg.
Ok, enough whining. Time to get back to my show.
It's been just over 24 hours since I left off to Kennewick, WA to see my daughter and do some back to school shopping for her. I made the 3 hour drive and was looking forward to grabbing just a few things (including a backpack) and then getting some time to take some pictures of us.
But I am learning, that when I plan something it NEVER works out the way I thought it would or the way I wanted it to. I will say up front that this blog today is me venting out my frustration with the day's adventures. If you get offended, I did warn you.
I got to Target around 10:45, after being asked to come before 11:30 so we would have time to shop. Kira and the crew (her dad, step-mom and 3 younger half siblings ages 4 years, 17 months and 3 months) showed up around 11:30 and we got started. What I should have done was let them know my limit money wise and set up a clothing item maximum (3 shirts, 2 pants) like my mom used to do. We all went wandering around the girls' department looking for shirts that Kira likes. Keep in mind, Kira will now go to a private school where uniforms are required and I have already bought 7 polos and 6 pairs of khaki pants for this. We walked out of Target with another polo, matching skirt, 3 shirts, 2 pairs of leggings and another skirt. When the total came up I was literally shaking! I won't mention the total, but I was in shock. I personally never shop retail. I did splurge and buy a shirt myself at Target, but that was the first time since my birthday in April (and I used a gift card I was given then).
And, since we didn't find a backpack at Target, it was onto Fred Meyer for more searching. Again, off to more shopping. I was still in shock when I got to the store and trying to just breathe deep. She found a backpack and I thought to myself, "Ok... now we can go!" But no, her step-mom wanted to go grab some more stuff. I REALLY should have said something, but didn't. Lesson has been clearly learned. We walked out of that store with a pair of shoes (to wear with her new skirts and leggings), a dress, 2 shirts and some more leggings. Just even thinking about it makes me disappointed and anxious. I have never spent so much money on clothes in one day!!
Keep in mind, I did hint the entire time, "This is way past my $100 budget I had for clothes and school supplies." But it didn't seem to phase her step-mom. All she said was, "I usually budget $250-300 per child for back to school." Does she not realize that I do not have that much extra around? We are still getting on our feet right now! Luckily, we kind of had the money extra to afford the spending yesterday, but it means now we have nothing to save from these paychecks.
I know that I should be happy that Kira is happy, but all I can think about is the "coulda, shoulda, woulda" of things. What I should have said, what I could've stopped... ugh. Oh well. I guess Christmas will be cheap for her and me. I'm glad we didn't do the mall!! Though, I'm sure SEARS and JCPenney's has some better deals going on... Ben made a good point to just bring cash and when the cash is gone, we are done! Man, I have me a smart husband!
Lesson of the day: When you are uncomfortable in a situation, stand up for yourself and make it known you are uncomfortable no matter the consequence. Don't let excuses cloud your thoughts.
Along the lines of my last blog, I am insanely missing my sisters right now. Just having a female around to talk about Glee or hair or clothing would be so nice to have! Phone calls are great, but not the same as face-to-face sister time.
My sisters are AWESOME!!!! Not just in that "I have to say it" way, but they truly are. I love being with them. Sure we bitch about each other behind backs, but what is love without honesty- even if it isn't to your face?!
I was planning on flying to Denver for my sister's 27th birthday over Labor Day weekend. Well, that isn't looking like it's going to happen. Actually, any trip back home to see family isn't working too well in my favor. This makes me very, very homesick. Just to drive down familiar streets, see faces of people I know.
It's the hugs I miss the most. I miss those sincere, don't-want-to-let-go hugs. I haven't had one in a while (outside of my husband) since my sisters came up in April. That's a long time!
I'm looking forward to life finally settling and being a little more consistent. Financially, emotionally and otherwise. I know that moment will come. And when it does- I look forward to sitting with my sisters and just talking crap about people behind their backs. It's what we do, don't judge us!
So this is for you, Rachel and Bekah Boo:
I love you guys more than I will ever be able to say in words or in actions. I love you for who you have become and who you are yet to be. I am so glad Heavenly Father chose you to be my sisters for Eternity. You have both grown into amazing women and I have been honored to be able to call you my sister. Thank you for being there for me when I needed you the most. Thank you for listening to me bitch and whine. Thank you for sticking by me those horrible four years (you know which ones) while I was stuck inside my bubble. Thanks for being true to yourselves and sticking up for what you believe. Thank you, above all, for loving me.
I'm so excited to see where life takes you. Through marriage (the good and the bad times), through your children and through all the small trials and challenges that we will all face. Please know that I am here for you no matter what. I will never ever judge you. I have been there,
I have lived through it and I know what I am talking about. I love being your older sister and hope that I am becoming a better model for you. Keep your standards high, and your panty lines hidden! You are always more than welcome to call me at any time. I will listen if you need me to listen, and I will talk when you need me to talk.
So, until the next time we can laugh and hug- know that I pray for your happiness every single night. Even though I can't be there physically, I am there in thought. I love you so very much.
Forever and always, Sarah
Some things just aren't meant to be posted on Facebook, so I'm putting this in here.
Tonight was a Relief Society activity- an activity for the women in my church. Dutch oven dinner and a few games. I showed up a little early and noticed that I was guest #4 to arrive, and also the only one near my age (within 20 years). I'm also still somewhat new to the group, so I was feeling a little out of place. I smiled and introduced myself, and then everyone went back to whatever conversation they were having. I've been with this church group (called a ward) since the middle of March. I was hoping that by now I would have had a few friends to go to these activities with. I understand that I was kind of stand-offish due to the fact that we weren't sure if we were going to stay in the ward or go to another one. But, now that we are in our new place I was kind of hoping to get the chance to get to know more people, and not just on Sundays.
I made a big realization tonight- I'm turning into an introvert! Anyone that knows me well, will say that I am NOT an introvert. I love going out and meeting people and making friends with everyone. I'm kind of loud and tend to be in the middle of things... but not anymore! I've noticed over the past 10 years (since meeting my ex-husband), that my wild ways are a lot more tame now. I remember having gatherings with friends and just going in and taking over the party. Meeting everyone in there, and just being very assertive. I got back into that role post-divorce when I was single and "trying to find myself", but have quickly realized that once married I no longer needed to be that person. I had found my mate, and it was time to settle down.
Then there are times like tonight, when I see a group of gals my age, I longingly gaze over and wish that I had the courage to say hi to them and even just get to know their names! I'm kind of stuck in between with my age though. The "dental school wives" are all in their mid-20s and seem to all be from Utah. And then the other group have 3 or 4 kids and talk about playgroups.
Life feels like that sometimes too. Like I'm stuck in between things right now. I'm not the young, hip 20-something newlywed. And I'm not over 35 with a few kids and a house. I'm just... here.
My self-esteem has taken a beating, and it's starting to show. I try my best to at least say hi to people, but am finding my husband is becoming much better at that then me. I no longer stand up and introduce myself, because I fear that who I am may not be accepted with my peers.
These are things I didn't think I would ever feel. I've always been a very confident person. Just kind of stuck wondering what happened...
What a fantastic opportunity!! My bosses rent out a couple of spots, along with family members, at Detroit Lake here in Oregon. We only had 2 free nights available, so we took them!
We headed out Saturday morning and got into camp around 11:30. Got the tent set up and headed out to the lake. What beauty!
We got out to the lake, set up chairs, tied up the dogs and got into the water. Helped set up some of the floating toys and just had a great time. Then Ben decided he wanted to go on one of the jet skis. He got up on it and started to head up. While watching for boats and people, the jet ski tipped! While he was trying to pull himself back into the jet ski, he dislocated his shoulder! I realized this when he started his "I'm hurt" scream. I called for my boss to come out and help me get Ben off the jet ski. We got him off and man was he in pain! We called up for my other boss, who is a nurse, but she was unable to help. So, we found the park ranger and found out we had to go to the hospital- 40 miles away! So, we got going! Unfortunately, when you have a dislocated shoulder you notice every single turn and bump in the road. Well, we were pretty far out in the woods and there were a lot of turns and bumps on the way in! We finally got to the ER and I had to drop Ben off while I went to park the car. To make the story short, he was admitted and sedated. He was eventually knocked completely out to get that shoulder back in!
We got out of the ER around 6, just in time for dinner. After 4 hours ad a lot of stress, Ben's shoulder was put into place and meds were picked up. We were set for the weekend.. of so you'd think. When we got into the car, we found out Eddie had gotten to Ben's glasses! (He had taken them off while they were drugging him up, and I put them in the car so I wouldn't lose them...ha!) No, Ben didn't pack his contacts. When we got back to camp, he added a little duct tape and called it good. What chaos! (Appointments for orthopedic surgeon and eye doctor were made as soon as we got back.)
Day two went a lot better. Another day out on the lake!Ben sat out on the sidelines with the shoulder immobilizer on. It was fun just hanging out with everyone, and finally getting a chance to get to know my bosses and really who they are! It was awesome!
After lake time, we headed up to the campsite to have some more yummy food (I didn't have to cook at all!) and just calm down after a busy day.
It was nice to just relax, play a couple rounds of UNO and just talk. I loved having this weekend with Ben. It was nice not having errands to run or laundry to do. Just sit and relax the entire time. There were about 15 people in the group and we just would sit by the fire at night and just talk and talk. Last night (our final night), everyone got together and played a few rounds of Poker and BlackJack.
Ben and I were worn out from not sleeping well the night before, so we called it a night and went to the tent. We got up early the next morning, packed up and got ready to head back to reality. Had ourselves some amazing breakfast casserole and then headed up. Dogs have been bathed, car is slowly unpacking (too danged hot to do too much for now), Ben is off to work, doctor appointments are made.. overall a good weekend. I can't wait to do this all again!!
Kira and I after school clothes shopping. Look how tall she is getting!!
First day of school!
I was planning on flying to Denver for my sister's 27th birthday over Labor Day weekend. Well, that isn't looking like it's going to happen. Actually, any trip back home to see family isn't working too well in my favor. This makes me very, very homesick. Just to drive down familiar streets, see faces of people I know.
I have lived through it and I know what I am talking about. I love being your older sister and hope that I am becoming a better model for you. Keep your standards high, and your panty lines hidden! You are always more than welcome to call me at any time. I will listen if you need me to listen, and I will talk when you need me to talk.
We got out to the lake, set up chairs, tied up the dogs and got into the water. Helped set up some of the floating toys and just had a great time. Then Ben decided he wanted to go on one of the jet skis. He got up on it and started to head up. While watching for boats and people, the jet ski tipped! While he was trying to pull himself back into the jet ski, he dislocated his shoulder! I realized this when he started his "I'm hurt" scream. I called for my boss to come out and help me get Ben off the jet ski. We got him off and man was he in pain! We called up for my other boss, who is a nurse, but she was unable to help. So, we found the park ranger and found out we had to go to the hospital- 40 miles away! So, we got going! Unfortunately, when you have a dislocated shoulder you notice every single turn and bump in the road. Well, we were pretty far out in the woods and there were a lot of turns and bumps on the way in! We finally got to the ER and I had to drop Ben off while I went to park the car. To make the story short, he was admitted and sedated. He was eventually knocked completely out to get that shoulder back in!
Ben and I were worn out from not sleeping well the night before, so we called it a night and went to the tent. We got up early the next morning, packed up and got ready to head back to reality. Had ourselves some amazing breakfast casserole and then headed up. Dogs have been bathed, car is slowly unpacking (too danged hot to do too much for now), Ben is off to work, doctor appointments are made.. overall a good weekend. I can't wait to do this all again!!