Fortitude and French Fries
The 1st Annual Gallegos Family Newsletter
Vol. 00110001
We could not be happier to see this year come to an end. Excluding the good parts, it was a pretty bad year. To start the year off we saw the end of Communism as we know it, found out Superman is a fraud, and were forced to live on glass and angel food cake through July in a padded basement. In early April a dingo ate the baby.
May 22nd we celebrated our misfortune and lack of creative problem solving by eloping in Durango, CO. It was a beautiful wedding that received Chuck Norris’ thumbs up. Afterward, we spent our honeymoon in the ceremonial running of the Zombies, and hunting cod in the cold north Atlantic seas. That was until we were boarded by a lovely band of pirates, who forced us to play Shuffleboard and Yahtzee. After walking the plank 4 days later, we caught a ride on a local trash freighter back into New York City and hitchhiked back to Denver to start our lives together.
We spent much of our summer learning that the world isn’t what we thought it would be in our pre-mortal lives. The toughest days came shortly after we learned neither of us is the heir to the Narnian throne. After expecting to inherit the kingdom we’ve accepted we’ll have to settle for a robust 401(K) and leftover lottery winnings. After that, not getting a golden ticket, or getting picked for Survivor-Orlando left no more than a residual bad taste in our mouths.
Fortunately for us, Ben finally got his lazy butt off the couch and found a character building job as a taste tester for Clorox. Shortly after, Sarah lost her job at the strip club and is now desperately seeking more demeaning employment. With any luck Rico will find her a good corner that’s close to home.
So, that about sums up our crazy year. Nothing more could have gone wrong this year, except maybe learning one of us is a minority. After suffering through 2009 we both look forward to 2010, the year of Polka, Pixies and Poltergeists.
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