"Wow - it's amazing the lies people tell especially when people who know the truth see every comment you post. I don't get the point in making up stories that never happened just to get some sympathy. Maybe you should see a therapist to get the sympathy..."
That was what my sister posted on Facebook. I know what she is referring to. It was a comment I had made on a photograph of a lady who is pregnant, but will never raise her child. I noted that I had been there and felt her pain.
But that's just the thing, I have been through so much heartache and sorrow over the last 14 years, and about 2% of it my family knows about. They hear what I feel they need to know, and that is it. The hardest part is that it is my family. The one group of people that should be there when you go through heartache. I have experienced more in my 32 years than any woman will ever go through.
I have a very small, close group of friends that I trust with my life- none of my family is in that circle. They were the ones I called when I was in the ER a number of times. They are the ones that when I fell, helped be back up, brought me food and let me cry on their shoulder.
My husband has been my biggest supporter. He has been there in the ER with me. He's held my hand while we recieved horrible news of losses. He has been my rock. I know that it takes its toll, but I try to hold it all in. I am only human.
I have had a lot of great things happen as well. Those things I am more than happy to share with family. Accomplishments personally, with my daughter, with jobs. But nothing that causes the tears. Nothing that I should be going to them for.
And it hurts. It hurts more than I will allow myself to dwell on.
So this is it. I'm shutting up. I'm only telling about the good in my life. No more sadness or sorrow. No more tears to shed. I'm done worrying or wondering.
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