What a Thought (or two.. or more)!

I was going to title this "What an Ass" but there are more thoughts than that bugging me.

Last night was my weekly call with my daughter. We chatted about her playing this weekend, the usual. I told her about a dream that I had where I thought of the name "Jezebella" for the newest addition of their family since kid #5 hadn't had a name yet. Then my daughter says, "She already has a name."

EXCUSE ME?!! WHAT?!! Appearantly, step-mom had the baby on Thursday (10-11-12)!! I didn't get an email, text, nothing! I'm pretty sure that my daughter's life was afftected BIG time by this and I didn't know! UGH! I don't understand why this information doesn't get shared with me. Moving cross country, birth of children.. I don't get it. The baby's name is Sadie Jayne. Sadie is a nickname for Sarah (mom's sister) and Jayne has "Jay" in it because my ex has an ego and wants a little boy to name after him. Jay is his nickname, and so the two younger (since #4 was supposed to be the last) both have "Jay" in their names.

I was talking to my husband about the name thing and I love his reaction, "I will never name a child after me." YAY!!

As for babies for us... I started my LAST pack of bith control this month (well, for next month). Time to start getting serious on baby making! Which also means getting serious on eating better and excercising more! I even went and paid a lot of money (for me) on fancy work out shoes and made a goal to walk home from work -3.1 miles- at least 2 times a week. I did it once and that was it. Now the rainy season is here and I haven't the motivation to do it.. until now. Baby #5's announcement and the announcement of a few other pregnancies from friends REALLY has me on baby overload. I think I am going at it in a selfish way though. I want the pregnancy since my one with Kira wasn't too.. wow. It was a secret for as long as my ex would keep it one (though of course I told my sister!). I missed my wedding/baby shower. I never got to decorate a nursery. I never got all of the praise and photos and all that jazz that comes with a pregnancy. I want to be celebrated too! We have wanted a child together for a few years now. I took this past year to take a break and just enjoy us. I have some severe depression issues to deal with, and those will get taken care of at a Dr appointment I have coming up (first one in YEARS!).

So, that's my thoughts while on my break... time to focus back on work!